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What to do if you are being bullied
When you’re being bullied, it can feel like there is no way out. Some people might not take it seriously or brush it off as nothing serious but if it’s getting you down or you’re getting hurt, it should be taken seriously.
No one deserves to be bullied and there is absolutely no excuse for it. Whether someone is bullying you about your looks, your accent, the colour of your skin, the colour of your hair, your family or the people you choose to hang out with, you should not be treated differently to anyone else, it is not OK and is unacceptable behaviour.
One person’s experience of bullying can be very different from the next person’s so the ways in which you deal with it will be dependent on the situation: who your bully is, where the bullying is happening, why you are being bullied and you… You are the most important factor and you have a right to dictate how your problem is dealt with.
So, what can you do if you’re being bullied?
If you can, remove yourself from the situation
It sounds basic, and it isn’t always possible, but if the person is, or was, a friend that you have fallen out with or someone new in your friendship group then, if you can, remove yourself from situations where you might have to be around that person.
A friend is not someone who makes you feel upset, bad about yourself or hurts you physically. Whatever excuse they use to justify their actions, the way they are behaving is wrong and if it doesn’t stop then you should consider whether you want that person as a friend anymore.
Ask a friend for support
If you feel confident in doing so, ask a friend or a group of friends to support you. Your mate can do a number of things to help…
Firstly, they can be there for you and offer comfort. Being bullied gets you down, lowers your self-esteem and makes you feel isolated. Just having someone to talk to can help makes things easier and make you feel as if you are not alone. Your friend, or friends, could also go with you (or without you) to approach the bully or bullies and say they have seen what’s been going on and disagree with it. If needs be, they can threaten to tell an adult or teacher about what’s been going on. This may or may not work depending on the situation. If this isn’t an option, then ask if your friend will go with you to speak to a teacher or other responsible adult.
Tell an adult you trust
Generally, most adults are relatively responsible people. They can help to diffuse the situation and they should be able to give you good advice. Teachers have the power to do lots of things that might help make the bullying stop. They will judge the situation and act accordingly.
Building confidence
Being bullied can affect your confidence and lower your self-esteem. This can make you very unhappy and mean that you stop doing things that you may once have done without thinking twice. Bullies will often pick on people who lack self-confidence because these people are an easier target. There are things you can do to help you build your self-confidence and ultimately feel happier. You could:
- Try joining an after school or local club – a sports, dramatic, musical, gaming or academic club. It could be something you’ve always wanted to try. Well, now’s the time!
- Start a new hobby – develop a new interest or skill
- Do some volunteering – helping others can be really fulfilling and make you feel good about yourself
- Write down the things that make you YOU! – these are the things that make you awesome whether it’s running fast, fitting the most marshmallows in your mouth at once or if you have a particularly nice shaped chin!
Bullying or banter?
A lot of bullying behaviour is excused with the word “banter.” Banter is supposedly having a laugh with your mates. It is meant to be friendly and unharmful. If something you or someone else says makes the person on the receiving end of the comment feel uncomfortable or upset then it isn’t banter. If this turns into something continuous then it is bullying. Even if it is someone you may consider a friend – it is still bullying.
When it becomes a criminal offence
If bullying goes too far it can be considered a criminal offence resulting in the perpetrator having a criminal record to their name, a fine or even imprisonment.
- Malicious Communications
- According to the Malicious Communications Act (1988)is a communication either in physical, hard-copy (such as a letter or note) form or electronic (text, messaging through social media, phone calls, threads in forums etc.) that conveys:
- an ‘indecent’ or ‘grossly offensive’ message
- a threat
- information that the sender knows is false
- For someone to be found guilty they need to have sent the communication wanting to cause distress or anxiety.
- Find out more about malicious communications.
- According to the Malicious Communications Act (1988)is a communication either in physical, hard-copy (such as a letter or note) form or electronic (text, messaging through social media, phone calls, threads in forums etc.) that conveys:
- Assault
- A threat or an attempt to physically attack someone whether successful or unsuccessful. This could be anything from pushing to punching another person.
- Hate Crimes
- A hate crime is when the victim, or anyone else, thinks they are being targeted because of someone’s prejudice towards them be that because of their race, religion, sexual orientation, disability or because they are transgender.
- Harassment
- Unwanted behaviour that causes distress, intimidates or humiliates the victim.
- This includes behaviour that you may not once have objected to but it is now unwanted.
- Theft
- This one is pretty self-explanatory. It is taking another person’s possessions whether that be money, clothing, a phone or something that is of sentimental value to the victim. Theft is not always considered bullying but it is when it is committed with the intent of causing suffering to the victim.