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Child-to-Parent Sexual Abuse

What you need to know about a form of abuse that is rarely talked about, often misunderstood, and can leave parents feeling isolated and unsupported.

Understanding Child-to-Parent Sexual Abuse

When people think about sexual abuse within families, they rarely think about parents being sexually harmed by their children.

However, research suggests that harmful sexual behaviour towards parents is more common than many people realise. A 2026 UK study found that 11% of parents seeking help for child-to-parent abuse reported experiencing harmful sexual behaviour from their child.

This abuse can involve children, teenagers, and sometimes adult children.

It can include:

  • Sexual comments, threats, or language directed at a parent
  • Unwanted sexual touching
  • Exposure or masturbation in front of a parent
  • Voyeuristic behaviour
  • Creating or sharing sexual images involving a parent

These behaviours exist on a spectrum. However, when a parent feels violated, intimidated, frightened, or unsafe, the behaviour should be taken seriously.

Why is it so difficult to talk about?

Child-to-parent sexual abuse remains one of the least recognised forms of family abuse.

Parents often describe intense feelings of shame, confusion, and self-blame. Many worry that professionals, family members, or friends will assume they caused the behaviour or failed as a parent.

In interviews conducted as part of recent UK research, parents spoke about feeling unable to tell others what was happening because they feared being judged or blamed. Some described feeling like they were the only person experiencing it.

One mother interviewed for the research said:

“How do you even speak about it?”

The stigma surrounding child-to-parent sexual abuse can leave parents feeling isolated and unsupported, even when the abuse is having a significant impact on their wellbeing.

What does Child-to-Parent Sexual Abuse look like?

There is no single pattern.

Research has identified a wide range of behaviours, including sexualised comments, sexual threats, unwanted sexual touching, grabbing, exposure, voyeurism, and open masturbation directed towards parents.

Importantly, sexual abuse towards parents rarely happens in isolation.

The same research found that parents experiencing harmful sexual behaviour were also more likely to experience:

  • Physical abuse
  • Coercive and controlling behaviour
  • Property damage
  • Financial abuse

Many parents described a pattern where different forms of abuse became intertwined over time.

Why is it underreported?

Research and practice suggest that child-to-parent sexual abuse is significantly underreported.

Parents may stay silent because they:

  • Fear their child will be removed from their care
  • Worry they will be blamed
  • Feel ashamed or embarrassed
  • Do not know where to seek support
  • Think professionals will not believe them

Some parents who sought help reported that harmful sexual behaviour was minimised by professionals, particularly when physical violence was also occurring. Others felt there was little understanding of what they were experiencing.

Why is the child behaving like this?

It is important not to make assumptions about why a child is displaying harmful sexual behaviour.

Research has found that many children who engage in harmful sexual behaviour have experienced trauma, emotional difficulties, or exposure to domestic abuse. In the 2026 study, 44% had been exposed to domestic abuse and 71% had experienced physical or emotional trauma.

However, this does not mean all children displaying harmful sexual behaviour have experienced sexual abuse themselves. Researchers warn against making automatic assumptions about the cause of the behaviour.

Understanding the wider context can help families access the right support while ensuring that the parent’s experience is not overlooked.

What is the impact on parents?

The impact can be profound.

Parents interviewed in research described:

  • Anxiety and depression
  • Fear within their own home
  • Social isolation
  • Hypervigilance
  • Feeling responsible for managing the abuse alone

Some described changing how they dressed, where they sat, or how they moved around their own home in an attempt to avoid triggering abusive behaviour. Others spoke about spending significant periods isolated in bedrooms or away from family spaces.

The abuse can also affect relationships with partners, siblings, family members, friends, and professionals.

Why awareness matters

Researchers have described child-to-parent sexual abuse as something that remains “unthinkable” within public conversations about abuse. Because of this, many parents struggle to find information, language, or support that reflects their experience.

Greater awareness helps ensure that parents are believed, supported, and able to access help sooner.

It also helps professionals recognise the signs of abuse and respond in ways that are informed, compassionate, and trauma-aware.

If this has happened to you

If you are experiencing harmful sexual behaviour from your child, you are not alone and you are not responsible for the abuse.

Support can help you:

  • Understand what is happening
  • Explore ways to increase safety
  • Access specialist services
  • Reduce feelings of isolation
  • Respond to the behaviour in ways that protect both you and your child

Many parents describe feeling relief when they are finally able to talk about their experiences in a safe and non-judgemental environment.

References

 

  • Holt, A. (2026). “How Do You Even Speak About It?”: Understanding Harmful Sexual Behaviour Towards Parents. Journal of Family Violence.
  • The Guardian (2026). “It’s so unthinkable”: the parents sexually abused by their children.
  • PEGS (2023). The Impact of Child to Parent Abuse: Who Does It Affect and How?