Incel – a term associated with a mostly online subculture of people, who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, and who may blame, objectify and denigrate women and girls as a result.
Although the term incel is now widely associated with male-dominated online spaces and misogynistic ideologies, it was originally coined by a woman. In the 1990s, a woman named Alana created Alana’s Involuntary Celibacy Project, a personal website where she and others discussed experiences of loneliness, shyness, and social isolation. The term incel emerged as a way to describe those struggling to form romantic or sexual relationships.
Over time, however, the meaning of incel evolved and took on different connotations, shaped by the communities that adopted it. Today, the term is often linked to online subcultures that promote harmful narratives about gender and relationships, making it essential to understand both its origins and its modern implications.
The Reality: In economics, the Pareto Principle suggests that 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes.
The Incel Myth: Incels have twisted this concept to claim that 80% of women only want the top 20% of men, leaving the rest “undesirable and alone.”
The Truth? This is not backed by real-world evidence—it’s just another way to fuel anger and misogyny.
Adolescence highlights how these beliefs radicalise young boys online, shaping their views on relationships, sex, and power.
Incels, or “involuntary celibates,” believe attraction is rigged against them. Their world is built on toxic stereotypes that dehumanise both men and women – leading to online harassment, radicalisation, and even real-world violence.
The “ideal” man: handsome, rich, confident. Incels believe women always choose Chads.
But the reality?
Not all attractive men are manipulative or hyper-masculine. Confidence and attraction are shaped by many factors, not just genetics.The idea that only “top-tier” men find love is false and fuels resentment toward men who don’t fit this mold.
The “perfect” woman: attractive, popular, and supposedly only interested in Chads.
What’s the reality?
Women aren’t monolithic – they are individuals with different preferences, personalities, and values. Sexuality is complex, and attraction isn’t determined by looks alone. This stereotype fuels misogyny by portraying women as shallow manipulators.
The “average” woman: Incels believe she still has more dating options than them but isn’t as desirable as Stacy.
What’s the reality?
The Becky stereotype shows how incels see all women as obstacles rather than individuals. Even women who are not seen as “ideal” are still resented for their perceived power in dating. Women, like men, face insecurities and dating struggles—but incels reject this reality.
