Sexual abuse is surrounded by harmful myths that perpetuate shame, guilt, and misunderstanding. These myths not only prevent survivors from coming forward but also affect how society, friends, and family perceive and support them.
Safeline is dedicated to challenging these misconceptions, fostering understanding, and providing resources for survivors and their supporters. Below, we dispel some common myths about sexual abuse and highlight the facts.
Having sex with someone who is very drunk, drugged or unconscious is rape – and it is always the rapist’s fault.
Heterosexual, gay and bisexual men and people who identify as non-binary or trans are equally likely to be sexually abused. Being sexually abused has nothing to do with your current or future sexual or gender identity .
People of all genders, ages, and backgrounds can experience sexual abuse. Male survivors, in particular, face unique barriers to disclosing abuse, stemming from social stereotypes about masculinity and sexuality.
Statistics show that 1 in 5 men has experienced sexual abuse, yet shame and stigma often prevent them from seeking help.
Many survivors experience a “freeze” response during trauma, rendering them unable to move or speak. This reaction does not negate the lack of consent. Manipulation, threats, or intimidation also play a significant role in controlling victims.
The rest are committed by someone the survivor knows, such as a friend, neighbour, colleague, partner, or family member. People are raped in their homes, their workplaces, and other settings where they previously felt safe. The risk of rape by a stranger shouldn’t be used as an excuse to restrict what someone can do.
Sometimes survivors question whether the sexual abuse has had an impact on their sexual orientation. You may worry that you were abused because you were gay, or that the abuse ‘made’ you gay. In our experience, the majority of men sexually abused by other men in childhood identify as heterosexual in adult life. What research there is points to sexual abuse having no significant effect on adult sexual orientation. However, being a survivor can leave you uncomfortable or unsure about your sexual identity.
The responsibility for rape lies entirely with the perpetrator. No one “asks for it.”
The vast majority of people who were sexually abused as children never rape or sexually abuse other people. This is a dangerous myth that is sometimes used to excuse the behaviour of people who do sexually abuse children or others. There is never any excuse for sexual violence against children or adults.
Stories in the media can give the impression that women often lie about sexual abuse. However, this is not true. Only 1 in 6 victims who have been raped or experienced sexual violence ever tell the police.
…and to change their mind at any point of sexual contact. If the other person doesn’t stop, they are committing sexual assault or rape. When it comes to sex, we must check in with our partners, respect their wishes, and believe what they tell us about what they do and don’t want. No means No.
Just as women can. No-one needs to rape someone for sexual satisfaction. Rape is an act of violence and control. It can’t be explained away and there are no excuses.
While most sexual assaults are perpetrated by men, women can and do commit acts of sexual abuse against other women, men, and children. Often people who’ve been sexually assaulted or abused by a woman worry they won’t be believed or their experiences won’t be considered ‘as bad’. This can make it difficult for these survivors to access services or justice. They also often face disbelief or dismissal, making it harder for them to seek help.
People who commit sexual violence come from every economic, ethnic, racial, age and social group.
It must be given freely every time, regardless of the relationship status. Marital or relationship rape is illegal and a violation of trust and autonomy.
…not sexual desire. The majority of men who commit sexual abuse against other men identify as heterosexual.
Misconceptions about sexual abuse thrive due to cultural norms, media portrayal, and misinformation. These myths contribute to delayed disclosure—on average, women take 12 years to disclose childhood abuse, while men take 22 years. The stigma surrounding sexual abuse creates barriers for survivors seeking support and justice.
Safeline actively works to dispel these myths and provides tailored support to survivors and their loved ones, including:
By confronting these harmful myths, we can create a culture that supports survivors, encourages early disclosure, and holds perpetrators accountable.
